


Loose Lips Tell No Lies

by zarahjoyce



Series: Game of Texts [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Jon is a sad millennial, TRY GUYS GAY TIME, but like, idek guys, text fic, who isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-02 21:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarahjoyce/pseuds/zarahjoyce
Summary: Arya:they just released a new vid Cocktails Around the World and I wanna try them alllllArya:Who’s with meJon:Arya you’re like fifteen.Jon:You can’t drink yetArya:I’m eighteen and legally allowed to say FUCK YOU, JONJon::|





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [direwolfjon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/direwolfjon/gifts).

> Written for the Jonsa 100 Drabble challenge with the prompt _Alcohol._
> 
> Next up is sansaswildlinglover with the prompt **Stripper!**

**Arya: **TRY GUYS GAY TIME

**Robb: **what

**Arya: **what part of TRY GUYS GAY TIME did you not get

**Theon: **Robb is just too millennial for this shit obvs

**Robb: **did you just imply that I’m old

**Robb: **we’re almost tHE SAME AGE YOU DICK

**Theon: **yeah but which of us don’t know who the Try Guys are~

**Theon: **I rest my case

**Arya: **whatevs you two

**Arya: **they just released a new vid Cocktails Around the World and I wanna try them alllll

**Arya: **Who’s with me

**Jon: **Arya you’re like fifteen.

**Jon: **You can’t drink yet

**Arya: **I’m eighteen and legally allowed to say FUCK YOU, JON

**Jon: **:|

**Sansa: **Language, Jesus

**Jon: **:| :| :|

**Arya: **God why are y’all such losers

**Arya: **It’s basically us ~experimenting~ and drinking drinks like WHY ISN’T ANYONE EXCITED

**Arya: **We’ll be taking advantage of Marg’s ridiculously overflowing stock of alcohol like !!!!

**Theon: **I’ll drink with you bb

**Robb: **like hell you are

**Theon: **WHAT. WHY ARE YOU OPPRESSING ME. WE’RE IN AMERICA WHERE FREEDOM IS KING??? I FEEL OPPRESSED, DEPRESSED, SUBJUGATED, MY LIBERTY TRAMPLED, I CANNOT BREATHE, I AM CHOKING

**Robb: **We have work, you overdramatic fuck

**Theon: **oh. Well why didn’t you just say so

**Arya: **FIIIINE

**Arya: **I GUESS I’LL JUST ASK GENDRY TO DRINK WITH ME THEN

**Arya: **YALL ARE FUCKING LOSERS AND I HATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

**Theon: **GASP

**Theon: **YOU’LL BE ASKING YOUR PSEUDO SERIOUSLY NOT-BOYFRIEND TO GO DRINK WITH YOU???

**Theon: **WHERE YOU’LL BOTH BE UNINHIBITED BY ALCOHOL, THEREBY ALLOWING YOU TWO TO ACT ON ALL YOUR PENT UP ~EMOTIONS~????

**Theon: **IN A PLACE WHERE THE TWO OF YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE ALONE TOGETHER????? WITH ONLY YOUR EMOTIONS AS YOUR COMPANY??????

**Robb: **THE FUCK

**Arya: **THE FUCK, THEON

**Arya: **GOD

**Arya: **WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS WEIRD AS FUCK

**Arya: **GENDRY IS JUST MY FUCKING FRIEND OKAY

**Theon: **~ S U R E ~

**Theon: **~ H E ~

**Theon: **~ I S ~

**Arya: **FUCK YOU

**Sansa: **I’ll go with you, Arya

**Robb: **YES PLEASE SANS FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS

**Robb: **I’LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP BETTER KNOWING THAT YOU’RE WITH HER

**Theon: **now who's being the ~overdramatic fuck~

**Robb: **FUCK YOU AND YOUR ABUSE OF TILDES

**Theon: **WAIT is that what it's called tho

**Jon: **Do you guys have room for one more or

**Arya: **depends

**Arya: **IF YOU’LL LEARN TO STOP USING EMOTICONS AND START USING EMOJIS YOU SAD MILLENNIAL YOU

**Jon: **………………………………

**Jon: **:|

**Arya: **FINE

**Arya: **MARG'S PLACE AT 7 TONIGHT

**Arya: **DON'T BE LATE, YOU TWO


	2. Chapter 2

**Sansa: **hey**  
  
****Sansa: **hey  
  
**Sansa: **hey  
  
**Sansa: **hey  
  
**Sansa: **hey  
  
**Robb: **Jesus WHAT  
  
**Arya:** Ignore her. She's drunk lmfao  
  
**Theon:** DRUNK SANSA??  
  
**Theon: **FUCK YOU ROBB LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MISS  
  
**Arya: **she's such a lightweight it's embarrassing. We're only in our fifth drink fuck THAT  
  
**Robb: **Is Margaery with you?  
  
**Arya:** unfortunately no. but she pretty much handed us the key to her alcholic castle so  
  
**Arya: **we exploited that shit like the good kids that we are  
  
**Arya: **Gendry mixes the best drinks everrrr. EVERR.  
  
**Sansa:** ya she's been waxing poetic about Gendry's balls earlier idek  
  
**Arya:** IGNORE HER SHE'S DRUNK  
  
**Robb:** good lord I read that with my two eyes like. why  
  
**Theon:** UGH ROBB YOU SICK FUCK I SHOULD'VE BEEN WITH THE GIRLS AND HAPPY I HATE YOU  
_**  
Theon Greyjoy named the group chat ROBB'S A DICK PASS IT ON  
  
Robb Stark removed Theon Greyjoy from the group chat **__**ROBB'S A DICK PASS IT ON**__**  
  
**_**Robb: **What so it's just you, her, Jon, and Gendry?  
  
**_Arya Stark added Theon Greyjoy to the group chat ROBB'S A DICK PASS IT ON_**  
  
**Sansa:** ACTALLY  
  
**Sansa:** Jonn's bailled on us  
  
**Sansa:** THIS IS WHY IRISH COFFEE IS AT THE BOTTOM OF OUR RANK LEAST  
  
**Theon: **I feel like I speak for the team when I ask what the fuck?  
**  
Sansa:** because cofffee is bitter and like dark and curly like Jon duh  
**  
Robb:** uh  
  
**Arya: **I AM SO SCREENSHOTING THIS SHIT FOR RECORDS PURPOSES  
  
**Theon:** @jonbrow you seeing this bro l m a o  
  
**Jon:** uh sorry guys if I wasn't able to go last minute  
  
**Jon:** I had some last minute requests and I needed to tend to them  
  
**Sansa: **I bet it's that bitch that I REFUSE TO NEMADROP   
  
**Jon: **?  
  
**Sansa:** I HATE HER OK. OK? OK. SHE'S LIKE CLAM JUICE. NO ONE LIKES CLAM JUICE IN THEIR COFFEE AMIRITE  
  
**Theon: **I feel uncomfortable thanks for asking what I think about that last bit  
  
**Robb: **what kind of drinks is that idiot Gendry making for you two???  
  
**Arya:** obvs she's mixing up clamato juice with irish coffee  
  
**Arya:** If you guys think she's bad now you should be here actually HEARING HER  
  
**Arya:** Jon this is your fault tho thank you also because l m a o I HAVE LIKE A LIFETIME'S WORTH OF BLACKMAIL MATERIAL which obvs I shall never use  
  
**Arya:** OR WOULDN'T I  
  
**Jon:** Sansa are you okay? Do you want me to come fetch you?  
  
**Arya: **and Arya, right?  
  
**Jon: **Of course  
  
**Sansa: **JON HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU YOU'RE LIKE SO SMOL I WANT TO CARRY YOU AROUND IN MY POCKET ALL THE TIME  
  
**Jon: **uh  
**  
Theon:** I FEEL LIKE THIS IS POPCORN MATERIAL??? ROBB GET ME POPCORN  
  
**Robb: **fuck you  
  
**Sansa:** I've been giving you all the hints lately but HOW COME YOU AREN'T PICKING UP ON ANY OF THEM?? boi r u dumb  
  
**Jon:** UH  
  
**Sansa: **and now you're not here like I thought you'd be AND NOW I'M SAD BECAUSE I thought we'll be having emotions as our company like theon said but then you didn't show up and I HATE YOU  
  
**Theon:** I'm so happy I'm gonna cry MY SHIP IS FINALLY SAILINGGG  
  
**Jon:** THEON MAN SHUT UP  
  
**Jon:** Sansa please, let's talk. can I come get you?  
  
**Jon: **Sansa?  
  
**Jon: **Sansa?**  
  
****Jon: **Sansa?  
  
**Theon:** Jon I think you killed her. RIP SANSA STARK, YOUR BEAUTY SHALL BE MISSED  
  
**Jon:** I swear to FUCKING GOD GREYJOY  
  
**Arya: **AAAAAAAND SHE'S THROWING UP. UGHHHH SORRY ABOUT THE CARPET MARG OOPS. BRB  
  
**Jon: **They're at Margaery's, right?  
  
**Robb:** yeah. you gonna get them or what?  
  
**Jon:** I'm on it


	3. Chapter 3

** _Sansa Stark left the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_ **

** _Theon Greyjoy added Sansa Stark to the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_ **

** _Sansa Stark left the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_ **

** _Theon Greyjoy added Sansa Stark to the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_ **

**Theon: **I can do this all day lmao

**Sansa: **fuckyou.gif

**Theon: **dealwithit.gif

**Robb: **I see you’ve come back to the land of the coherent

**Sansa: **In my defense I was SUPER DRUNK okay and NONE OF WHAT I SAID SHOULD EVER BE BELIEVED

**Theon: **aw

**Theon: **even the part where you said to Jon, and I quote, I’VE BEEN GIVING YOU ALL THE HINTS LATELY BUT HOW COME YOU AREN’T PICKING UP ON ANY OF THEM

**Theon: **I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE boi r u dumb ENDING. ~CLASSYAF

**Sansa: **omg

**Theon: **hey @arya, what happened when @jonbrow came to pick you up

**Arya: **nothing lmao

**Arya: **She’s dead to the world by then

**Theon: **oh

**Theon: **well that’s anticlimactic

**Arya: **oh so you’re not interested to hear about Jon freaking the fuck out when he saw just how comatosed Sansa was

**Arya: **ok then

**Sansa: **ARYA NO

**Theon: **ARYA YES

**Arya: **ARYA YES

**Robb: **does it even matter what my opinion is

**Jon: **:|

**Arya: **jon gtfo with your outdated emoticons

**Arya: **anyway here’s wonderwall

**Arya: **MOV027.mp4

**Arya: **MOV028.mp4

**Arya: **MOV030.mp4

**Arya: **notice how carefully I documented Jon freaking the fuck out in these videos tho

**Theon: **Jon dude were you about to cry in that third vid tho

**Jon: **no

**Jon: **:|

**Arya: **I’m not a romantic but this is the sweetest shit I’ve ever seen in my life

**Theon: **#JonSa

**Arya: **#JonSa

**Sansa: **Wait I haven’t seen any of these???

**Sansa: **omg

**Sansa: **omg jon

**Theon: **BEHOLD THE MARVEL THAT IS SANSA REALIZING THAT JON CARES ABOUT HER MORE THAN HE LETS ON

**Theon: **BECAUSE, INDEED, HE IS A DUMB BOI

**Jon: **:| :| :|

**Sansa: **Jon I think we should… talk

**Sansa: **can we talk?

**Jon: **Yeah. I mean, I’m free right now. You mean now, right? Or, you know. Whenever you want, I’ll be free then

**Theon: **keep it in your pants, jonny boy

** _Sansa Stark left the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_ **

**_Jon Snow_** **_left the group chat ROBB’S A DICK PASS IT ON_**

**Robb: **well. That was eventful

**Theon: **you mean the part where we were all instrumental in Jon and Sansa finding love in each other?

**Arya: **UGH THERE YOU GO MAKING THINGS WEIRD AF AGAIN

**Arya: **FOR ALL WE KNOW THEY JUST WANT TO BANG

**Theon: **BANG WITH ~LOVE

**Robb: **good lord I read that with my own two eyes like. WHYYYY

**Theon: **dealwithit.gif


End file.
